Living Hell!

OK, so this past Monday, I had to go to a Senior Fair at a college not too far from home. I had to pick up the name-dropper at her house at 6 am to begin my little trip to hell.

There were many different exhibitors, showing off their wares, giving advice, demonstrations and of course freebies. Now the only reason I like doing them are for the freebies. I feel a little awkward going up to the different vendors and taking their stuff, but hell you get some neat-o stuff. Usually you can always get the pill holders, calendars, pens and pencils, but this time I got a spatula and a CD opener thing-a-ma-bob. It's actually kinda cool, you slide this little plastic circle over the casing, and a tiny razor comes out and slices open the CD jewel case. I will have to take pics of my treasurers so you will all be jealous....just don't be a hatin'....I'm just sayin'.

So anyway, at this particular health fair they had entertainment....and not just any entertainment I'm telling you....BOY-O-BOY, they had an Elvis impersonator!!! He even talked about himself as being older than some of the people there and had more energy, with him even being DEAD for 30 years...ba-dum-dum

He actually sang decently, and did all the fancy footwork, and a grinding of the hips. It was a little funny, cause he was s'posed to go for 45 minutes, and you could tell he was winding down after about 25. I had a video of him singing "Kentucky Rain", if I can figure out how to get it on here, you will crack up.

Then we had a group called "The Silver Belles and a Beau". The Beau was a freak show that sang songs I had never heard of before, except for "Happy Trails" from the Roy Rogers Show. He even did the Trigger horse whinny. I wanted to kill myself. It was insane.

The ladies, all of whom looked as tho they needed a walker at first, got on stage and started cutting a rug to some show tunes.


They even had two different troops of "Belles", and you could tell one group was the varsity troop and one was the back-up troop. Each troop did 3 songs a piece and a Finale number!

THEY EVEN HAD COSTUME CHANGES!!!! LOOK OUT CHER!

Seriously, I felt like I was in a REALLY bad, bad, bad episode of "The Golden Girls". I kept waiting for Sophia or Dorothy to get up on stage and start singing "Me and My Shadow" or some dumb shit.

That shindig was followed by an AWFUL singing Banjo player and then a game show kinda bullshit, where you either has to "Sing it, Name it, or Dance to it...!" At that point I knew I was truly in HELL and being punished! The ride home was just as bad tho. Name-dropper was blah-blah-blahing names that she was going out with that nite, since the IL legislature was in town, trying to pass a budget and waste more taxpayer money, they would all be hitting the town tonite, eating, drinking and making illegal merriment all over downtown.

So anyway, I have ANOTHER Senior Fair with Name-dropper tomorrow, and we have to leave at 5 am....wish me luck, and I will see what kinds of freebies I can get this go round! YEEEEEHAW!!!!!!!!!